What Once Was
by XPhauxRedwoodX
Summary: I was foolish to believe things would remain the same between us once he found out. Be it to say things didn't stay the same in fact it became the worse possible outcome I have ever had to face. Looking back I miss What Once Was, but right now I need to focus on the fact that I'm carrying a baby. A baby that could belong to one of two of the men i treasure dearly. EyesXOCXKanone
1. Chapter 1: Stolen innocence

I looked out my living room window at the rain. It had been three weeks since I left japan and it was so grueling. Due to my new found emotions that I have recently discovered for the silver haired teen that I had for so long seen only as my brother and brother alone; sighing from my sadness I got up. The moment I entered the kitchen I heard a knock at my door. Heading to the door I grabbed a kitchen knife for I was not expecting any company. Slowly moving to the door I looked outside and sighed in relief but also sucked in air at the same time it was Kanone. The last time I had seen him he was trying to kill us all. Opening the door completely I sighed and leaned on the frame.

"You should have called and told me you were coming over. You're lucky I didn't drag out my AK-47." I said.

"Sorry, didn't realize you became so cautious." He said looking at me with a smile.

Sighing again I moved from the door way and let him in. I was not listening to Rutherford like I said I would. For he had asked me to steer clear of the older latter, but I am refusing. It is quite hard to stay away from him. For he is everything I know and everything I am used to and fond of. Slowly he walks in and sits down. I do the same.

"So you and eyes." He states throwing me off guard.

"How did you…know?" I ask standing up; he does the same.

"Kindra why him?" He asked walking towards me.

"Why not?" I ask looking up at him in confusion.

"What happened to what we had?" He asked me running a hand down my cheek making a chill go down my spine.

Instantly I back away from his cold icy touch. Something that is unusual, for his touch is generally warm. I then notice his eyes are looking into mine, no they are looking at me. There is something in his eyes though that I do not place right away. I do not realize that I am backing away from him until my back meets a wall. I then notice that it is lust, lust and anger. I am not sure if he is angry at me, but it is defiantly there. Moments later I feel his hot breath on my face. Once again a shiver runs down my spine. He reaches for me only to have me flinch and grab his hand in protest.

"You really only want him don't you?" He asked his hair shading his eyes.

I nod slowly only to feel his lips capture mine. Instantly I freeze up shocked by the contact. He shoves his tongue into my mouth allowing no protest from me. I stand there and try to wait it out, but soon realize he will not finish any time soon. I begin to fight trying to pull away from him. In able to keep his lips on mine he holds my head with both hands firmly. I do not want to do what I am about ready to do but I have no choice instantly my knee rises up with the intent to make contact with gut. He blocks it with his hand and pulls away looking at me.

"That's not wise Kindra. Don't fight this. Just let it happen." He says huskily in my ear.

Instantly I shove him away and begin running up the stairs only to be dragged down a few steps by my ankle making me yelp. I should have known better then to run. I should have tried to reason with him first, for he is like a big cat in the jungle with a predatory like instinct and I have just activated it. Looking up he is now hovering over me nothing but lust is left in his eyes. He wants me and he plans to take me. In reality I know I will not be able to stop it. He is stronger than me and bigger than me, but that does not mean I will not try and fight him. Instantly my hands fly up in attempt to grab his wrists only to be pinned above my head by one of hands. The other snakes up my shirt and grabs ahold of one of my breast and begins to fondle it. I instantly protest only to hear him chuckle darkly and make him treat it much rougher.

Lifting up my shirt I shiver at the cold air and began to wiggle in attempt to get out of his grasp. Yelping again to his grip tightening I stay still for now while he kisses every inch of exposed skin he can get to. All the while I am pleading, no begging for him to stop, it falls on deaf ears though. For I fear my begging is only turning him on more, because he begins to bite down hardly on every inch of skin he possibly can. Moments later he takes out a knife making me whimper instinctively in fear of what he is going to do.

"Shhhh my angel it's not for what you think it is." He whispers darkly into my ear.

Sliding it in between the middle of my chest and bra he cuts it; giving him full access. He takes advantage of this instantly as he begins to suckle and lick on of my breast while roughly fondling the other. I cry out in a mixture of pain, protest, and pleasure. I do not wish for it to feel good, but in away in the back of my mind it does. Lifting my shirt up more I begin to think he is about ready to pull it off completely until he fashions it to wrap around my wrists to bind them tightly. He straddles me while he is biting and licking my neck. His hands then move to my pants he makes quick work to take them off along with my underwear. Instantly my begging and pleading begin to start again and I try to wiggle away. I beg like I have never begged before, for I am terrified. He then faces my entrance and begins to flick his tongue in it making me arch my back and moan. Tears slide down my face for I am upset that my body has betrayed me.

Once again I do not want it to feel good. I do not want any of this to happen. For I am saving myself for him; I am saving my virtue for Eyes and Eyes only. I hear Kanone chuckle as he shoves his tongue up in me swirling it around and plunging it in and out of me. I wither and wiggle as I make an attempt to not make a sound so he gets as less satisfaction as possible. Moments later my back arches and against my will I cry out as I climax.

"You taste good Kindra." He purrs.

I quiver in fear and try to scoot away from him as I hear him unbuckle his pants. I even go as far as to attempt to kick him while I scoot away. This only makes him laugh evilly at my feeble attempts. He jerks my ankle hard pull me back down to him making the carpeted steps give me rug burn. New tears spring to my face and I beg again as he positions himself at my entrance. Looking me in the eyes he smirks darkly. He is enjoying every second of this. He is turned on by my feebleness. His smirk widens into a malicious smile when he thrusts his whole length up into me with no mercy breaking my virgin barrier. I scream, I scream loudly; loud enough it echoes off the walls. He waits for a moment only to slowly pull out of me and thrust all the way up into me again. He repeats this action many times and then thrusts into me as hard and as fast as he can non-stop. I stop struggling knowing that I am only making it hurt more, but either action I take I know he will be pleased with it.

My screams slowly become whimpers and sobs and every once in a while he will quicken his pace or be rougher with me to make me scream. Quickly he pulls out of me and flips me onto my stomach spreading my legs wider and plunges himself back in. Even after I climax he pounds in and out of me. I do not know how long this torture lasts but the moment he rams into me a final time and comes in me I am relieved for he slowly pulls out me. I instantly stay still and close my eyes in hopes that he thinks I passed out from the experience. Evidently he either thinks I have or does not care for I hear him fix his pants.

"This is to show you my dear tainted angel that even if you desire Eyes and even if he desires you that you have always and will always belong to me." He whispers and places a tender kiss on my cheek.

As he walks away once again tears slide down my face. For every footstep he takes I know he is walking away from what once was and the moment the door slams I feel darkness overcome me.


	2. Chapter 2: Worst is over

It had been a week since that horrible night. Eyes who had intended to surprise me found me. I refused to tell him who did this to me when I had regained consciousness. I hope that Eyes thinks it was a hunter, but I know he suspected and later confirmed to himself that it was Kanone. I still have nightmares. I had even moved to an apartment (located in Japan that's five minutes away from Eyes's). If he wanted to I know Kanone could find me if he wanted to, but he chooses not to. Not because of how close Eyes is, but because he just doesn't want to. He knows he has installed fear in me and that it will remain. Due to this fear I do not advance on Eyes the last time we had shared a hug was the night he found me. The last time we kissed was before the incident.

Getting out of bed I slowly put on clothes looking at myself in the mirror. I am tired for I have had another restless night. I jump by hearing a knock on the door. I already know who it is so open the door without another thought. Staring into his blue eyes he instantly recognizes my tiredness. This time he does something unusual. He grabs my hand and pulls me to my bedroom.

"You need to sleep." His British accent thick.

"You don't think I try." I ask amused.

Instantly he gently pushes me down on my bed. What happens next surprises me. I feel his arms wrap around me and pull me into his chest. I feel safe and for the first time since the incident, I cry. I cry hard and let every tear that has gathered in me for the past week out, and all Eyes does is lay there and hold me and put a comforting hand on my head. Not a word comes from him even when I ask why? Why did Kanone do what he did? We already know that answer. At some point I know I must have fallen asleep for I wake up with my head on his chest, one hand on my forearm, and the other on my waist. It took me a minute to realize that he too had fallen asleep. Looking up he stirs and looks at me with his piercing blue eyes.

I'm enchanted by them and always have been. Rising up he watches me carefully. I do not know where the sudden urge to kiss him is coming from but it is itching at me. Clawing at me and begging me to go through with it. I can't so I sigh and look at the clock on my nightstand to force the feeling away. I was asleep for six hours. I get out of bed and stand in the middle of the room

"You didn't have a nightmare did you?" He asks rising up on his elbows.

"No, for once I didn't." I say leaning on wall looking out the window.

"That's good I suppose." He says lightly.

"Until I go to bed tonight and have one because I wasn't in your arms." I say bitterly.

Moments later I feel his arms circle around my waist and his chin my shoulder. I tense up wishing he would stop, fearing that somehow Kanone is seeing this and is debating if he should come and reinforce fear into me again. For the first time in a week the rational part of my mind kicks in. Kanone is not all seeing or all knowing. I need to get rid of my fear. I need to prove to myself that he can't watch me 24/7. Turing around I face Eyes looking at him with my piercing green catlike eyes. Finally I do the one thing that I have wanted to do for the past week. My lips softly meet his. The kiss is slowly at first and it gradually becomes heated to the point that I am up against the wall with his hands on my hips.

I pull him to close me as he licks my bottom lip asking for entrance. I give it to him. I sigh and my knees buckle at the same time while his tongue is exploring every inch of my mouth. As it grows I pull him closer and closer until there isn't an inch yet alone a centimeter of space left between us. I feel his hands slowly wander my body with hindrance; he fears that it will spark memories. It does, but I quickly push them away and run my hand up and down his arms to silently tell him that it is alright. He pulls away for air and begins to place soft loving kisses down my neck making me gasp. It feels good so I pull him as close to me as possible. I run my hands through his long silver hair as he nips and sucks on the hallow of my throat. This makes soft mewls escape my lips. I feel his fingers precisely work on the buttons of my shirt and moment later mine and his shirt as well as my bra are discarded on the floor somewhere.

His hands gently massage my breast I as I groan into his mouth. For someone so skinny I would not imagine it possible for him to have any too little muscle, but due to him always sharpening his skills to fend off hunters has given him some benefit. I slowly run my hands up and down his chest and abdomen while looking in his eyes. I am in awe and my mind is clouded with lust and desire. Instantly I crush my lips to his expelling every emotion of passion and huger I have felt over the past week. He does the same. Moments later I am on the bed again underneath him as he begins to suckle on by breasts sending me to cloud 9 while his hand caresses my stomach. His hand is then lightly tugging on the button of my jeans. I rub his shoulder giving him another silent grant of permission. Instantly my jeans are discarded and he begins to caress my inner thigh making me moan his name lightly. I find it strange that memories of the rape have not flooded back. Don't get me wrong I am thankful they haven't, but curious as to why not. I am suddenly snapped out of my thoughts to the feel of him rubbing me through my underwear. I throw my head back moaning in pure pleasure. I feel like I'm going to explode as waves of heat and pleasure hit me hard.

I hear Eyes silently whisper my name. He wants me, but he is scared to proceed so I encourage him by bucking my hips up against his hand. Instantly he removes my underwear and looks at me one more time asking if I am ok with this. I nod and right after that he slides one finger into me making me tremble in pleasure. Pumping it in and out of me I moan his name as I clutch onto his shoulders he adds another and picks up speed I quickly start to buck my hips up in the air trying to make his fingers slide in me deeper, after minutes went by he quickly pulled them out making me whimper while he licked them clean. While he was doing that I tugged at his pants silently demanding him to take them off. He obliged and did so right away along with his boxers as well. That's when I memory came flooding back. Instantly I closed my eyes and started to take deep breaths. I quickly pushed the memory aside and opened my eyes to come into contact with his blue ones that held concern.

"Are you sure you want to go further." He asked.

"Yes, I'm sure." I say shaking my head.

Positioning himself at my entrance I shake another memory away before it surfaces. He slowly enters me trying to be gentle as possible. Even though I'm no longer a virgin that doesn't mean that it still won't hurt. Luckily it doesn't for I fear if it did we would not be able to continue. A minute late I nod giving him the ok to start moving. He does right away still being slow and gentle with me. It feels good; having him in me. Each time he thrusts back in me I moan his name. After a while I demand that he goes faster. Soon he is pounding himself in and out of me silently saying my name as I continue to be pushed over the edge. Wrapping my legs around him I managed to pull him deeper into me making me she stars. Every thrust feels like it's harder and faster after the next. Looking at him I can't help but smile I am the only one that will ever see him in this state. Moments later he digs his fingers into my shoulders, he must be close for I am too. Instantly I flip us over and I am riding him my legs tremble with pleasure. All the while he is moaning my name while his hands are on my hips guiding me up down on him. My walls tighten around him making me feel even more pleasure and before I know both of cry each other's name out as we climax. Panting I lay down beside him watching him try to regulate his breathing. It is unusual seeing him like this; out of breath, flushed cheeks. I chuckle making him look at me from the corner of his eye. Pulling me into his chest he kisses the top of my head whispering soft words. I am happy, nothing can separate me and him at this moment, not even Kanone, and now for the first time in a week I manage to fall asleep at a decent time; not because eyes is next to me but because I know that the worst is over.


End file.
